Writer’s Block is a very serious condition that affects 1.2 million students annually world-wide. Signs and symptoms include a blank Word document, blinking text cursor that never really goes anywhere, constant backspacing, attempts in thesaurus usage, and failure to express the necessary demands of an assignment.
Effects of Writer’s Block can lead to anxiety attacks, insomnia, multiple blog entries, a cleaner room, completion of useless/unimportant tasks, and also failure in academia and in life. See also ‘Procrastination.’
Location: HARPO Studios, Chicago, IL, USA Time: 5:55PM
Forbes Rep.: “Ms. Winfrey, we have to reach an agreement at this meeting.” Oprah: “So, you’ve worked the numbers for the last five weeks. Now, what do you have for me?” Forbes Rep.: “Okay, we have discussed with the Vice President of Marketing and the Vice President of Finances, and the figure comes out to $5 million for you to keep the #1 spot on the Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrity.” Oprah: “That’s it? STEADMAN! Get my checkbook out.”
*Steadman runs in, panting…
Steadman: “Yes, Oprah, what do you need?” Oprah: “Are you deaf? I said my checkbook.” Steadman: “What checkbook?” Oprah: “The Bank of America one with the label ‘O1’.” Steadman: “Oh that one!”
*Steadman rushes back with the checkbook.
Oprah: “Oh, good boy, Steadman.”
*pats Steadman on the head.
*writes a check for $5 million and hands it over to the representative of Forbes.
Oprah: “Now, y’all better not mess with me. I better see my face on that magazine like I do every month on my own O magazine. If not, I’ll have you bleached like Michael Jackson!”
*rep. sweating Forbes Rep.: “Yes, ma’am. You’re #1 this year for sure.”
*Oprah grabs him by the neck Oprah: “You mean, forever.”
Because 9 times out of 10 they are wrong. I have to control myself and make sure I don’t sound condescending when explaining to them the phenomena they are trying to grasp. Nobody likes a know-it-all idiot. Then again, nobody like a smartass f’ker who doesn’t what he/she is talking about.
Gah, I’m such a jerk. A jerk who SERIOUSLY needs to finish her paper. :(
Dr. B has ignored my request for an extension on my paper. Aaaaaagh. Very well, the sooner, the better anyway. The sooner, the better. The sooner, the…oh who am I kidding. I’m screwed.
Also, iTunes should enable search based on rhythm/beats and counts— you know, have a preliminary auto assessment string and then user defined. Or does it do that already?
I’m very bored. And/or negligent of the fact that my paper is due in less than 18 hours.
Josh’ems is not helping in the matter that is your mom. Oy vey! I’m grouchy right now.
I have 15 more orders to complete before 6 AM today (ugh, why can’t Photoshop just have an “Automatically Fix This Picture The Way Samantha Wants It” button. Adobe should really look into this.)
I have to build a website and upload banquet pictures (some prefer by 2 weeks ago, but I’m working to have it up by tomorrow. More like, this week-ish?)
I have 26+ pages of writing (yep, my finals) to do before Thursday (of which I have exactly 4 pages done. Yay me.)
I have to figure out how to network a GIS communicator and build an interactive presentation by Friday.
I have to finish editing the album cover for the CD release by Friday.
I have to run out and get my friends graduation gifts! (By Friday.)
There are million and 10 other things I need to do by the end of this week. I’m already exhausted thinking about all the things I need to do before summer ends— it hasn’t even started yet! With MCAT reviews, learning French, Spanish, Italian, German, reviewing histo (ugh), Guatemala fundraising campaigns, readings on Greece, Turkey, Islam and Christian Orthodoxy…AHHHH!
I either need more time or to clone (a slightly better and more efficient version of) myself. I choose the latter, but I’ve seen The Prestige, so I don’t know how that’s going to work out.
I’m so tired.
**DOUBLE BLURG!
It’s 7:10 AM and I still have a fanny load of orders to complete…but I don’t know where the list is…aye. I’m going to bed now.
